And so it begins?

A certain someone in New Mexico said that I needed to do a blog post on a date I had yesterday. I haven't been sure whether I would be blogging here again, but since it would have been too much to text her the story, I will oblige here. To step back a bit, yes, I finally jumped back into the online dating pool a couple weeks ago. In the beginning I really only screened or weeded the guys who have reached out to me, but have recently decided that that isn't working out so great. What? I may actually need to make an effort? Sigh.

It's very strange but I am getting pinged by guys who are either way too young or way too old for me. I don't know where the guys in their mid to late 30s are. I guess they are either looking for 28 year olds or still married? I don't know. And look, I am open to a guy a couple years younger, but 10 years younger is a bit much for me. So I decided that I should try to make myself reach out to five guys a week, or reach out to someone for every guy that reaches out to me. This plan had me either like or wink at 3 guys over the weekend, to no response. Am I supposed to actually spend time writing a real message? Double sigh.

Anyways, so I did meet up wit a guy yesterday. Initially he had said coffee, but then came back Saturday with the suggestion of one of my favorite restaurants in town. I was a bit leery of making it an actual meal, and didn't want him to potentially ruin this favorite restaurant of mine, but said ok.

I don't feel that I'm really that picky anymore, at least as much as I used to be. I'm really trying to be open and focus on the things that actually matter. So I can overlook the fact that he was clearly older than his pic. In his pic he clearly had very dark brown hair. In person it was more salt and pepper. Again, not a huge deal... but just not what I was expecting. I can also overlook the fact that he showed up wearing wide wale corduroy pants with pleats (sorry just not my thing). I've significantly improved a guy's wardrobe before, and have no doubts that I could do it again. :)

But I could not overlook the fact that I felt like I was having a conversation with a pinball machine. I would say something, and he would fixate on one tiny piece of that and instead of actually listening and responding to it, would use that to jump to something completely different. I completely felt like while I was talking he was just trying to think of what to say next instead of actually listening to me.

He's kind of a serious hiker/climber and towards the end of the date, he asked if I wanted to go next weekend. A friend of mine noted that I should have been concerned about being invited to somewhere a bit less public when I still barely know him. But I was less concerned about that than the fact that I would be stuck having a conversation with a pinball machine on a mountain! At least with the restaurant I was able to make a getaway... on the mountain the only option would have been to fling myself off the side. Not a great getaway option.

So all in all, its definitely not the worst first date I've ever had, but wasn't great. And so the humor (choosing to think of it as more humorous than painful) of online dating continues!

Perspective

The news the last couple days has been all about the bombings at the Boston Marathon. Yes, its a horrible horrible tragedy and the pictures are just devastating.

But as I've been inundated with all the media coverage, it has been hard for me not to think about all the people who have died or been severely wounded in similar terrorist bombings in countries like Iraq, Afghanistan, Syria, and Pakistan. So many people, just as innocent as those who were killed or hurt in Boston. These lives that have been lost in the Middle East were certainly no less important than the lives lost in Boston.

I wonder if it'll make us a bit more compassionate in terms of trying to comprehend what kind of world families live in in these countries. So yes, I am thinking about those killed and hurt in Boston, but I'm also thinking about those killed and hurt in these other bombings just over the last month.

- 4/15/13: Baghdad, Iraq. 15 dead, 73 wounded in Baghdad with additional bombings in Kirkuk, Baqubah, Tikrit, Fallujah, Nassiriyah and Mussayab. Total 32 dead, 200+ wounded.
- 4/14/13: Mogadishu, Somalia. Suicide bombings at Supreme Court building. 35 dead, 40+ wounded.
- 4/8/13: Damascus, Syria. Suicide bombing in Sabaa Bahrat Square, the main business district in Damascus. 15 dead, 53 wounded.
- 4/8/13: Wardak, Afghanistan. Roadside bus under a traveling bus. 9 dead, 22 wounded.
- 4/6/13: Baqubah, Iraq. Suicide bombing at a political rally for a local Sunni candidate. 22 dead, 55 wounded.
- 4/1/13: Tikrit, Iraq. Suicide bombing at police headquarters. 42 dead, 67 wounded.
- 3/29/13: Baghdad and Kirkuk, Iraq. Car bombs at four Shi'ite mosques. 22 dead, 144 wounded.
- 3/29/13: Peshawar, Pakistan. Suicide bombing at a checkpoint near the US consulate. 10 dead, 31 wounded.
- 3/22/13: Balochistan, Pakistan. Bomb near a hotel in the main bazaar of Dera Allah Yar. 9 dead, 24 wounded.
- 3/21/13: Damascus, Syria. Suicide bombing inside a mosque. 42 dead, 84 wounded.
- 3/21/13: Peshawar, Pakistan. Car bombing at the Jalozai refugee camp. 15 dead, 40 wounded.
- 3/19/13: Baghdad, Iraq. Series of bombings at government buildings and gathering places in Shi’ite neighborhoods. 61 dead. 148 wounded.
- 3/18/13: Kano, Nigeria. Suicide bombing at a bus station. 41 dead, 44 wounded.
- 3/18/13: Mogadishu, Somalia. Car bombing near Mogadishu's National Theater. 10 dead, 20 wounded.
- 3/17/13: Basra, Iraq. Car bombing close to a bus station. 10 dead, 24 wounded.

This is just the last month. If we're praying for those hurt and the victim's families, let's include these victims as well.

Some things never change

The last two weeks were really intense work wise, with tons of work and two client trips to NC. It might not have been such an insane two weeks if I had gotten more done earlier in February.

I readily admit it. I am totally a procrastinator at heart. Some things never change. I was a procrastinator in undergrad, in grad degree #1, in grad degree #2, and have been to a certain extent in all my jobs. I like to think it's gotten a bit better as I've aged (and theoretically matured), but I don't know that I can change my true nature.

Its like I need to feel the heat of the fire on my ass (i.e. its crunch time) and all of its associated stress (i.e. f*** me why did I put it off this long again... crap, am I going to complete it in time... shit, I will be getting no sleep and working nights and weekends) in order to be motivated and focused enough to power through something. Strangely enough, I kind of thrive off that stress. Until then I'm just putzing around. Sigh.

Anyways, I came across this hilarious article the other week that proposes 8 new and necessary punctuation marks. Hilarious. I should start using some. I'm sure that I could find a use for the superellipsis since I tend to overuse them (see Exhibit I: Previous paragraph of this post and Exhibit II: Pretty much every single blog post I've ever written).

Back on the road again

After a bit of a break, I'm back traveling for work again. It has actually been about 6 weeks since I flew out of the Seattle airport. They've switched up all of the security lanes and now the TSA Precheck line is right where I usually walk in. So this morning I had my first experience with this line.

I was able to walk through a simple metal director with my shoes and suit jacket on. My laptop and my bag of liquids were kept in my bags. All I had to do was just put my bags up to go through the scanner. I fly so much that I can get through a normal security line incredibly fast. But total time through the precheck line? 10 seconds. It was insane. It feels strange not being groped or going through a full body scanner to fly!

So now I'm on my way to Dallas, with a brief layover before heading to RDU. Now I know we're in this advanced technological age but for some reason the fact that I can connect to the wireless on flights still boggles my mind. And yes, I still do not completely shut down my phone. And to think I have yet to bring down a plane with my phone on airplane mode!

I'll be in NC for about a week this time, given that I have client meetings again next Monday. It'll be good to see my parents in Chapel Hill over the weekend, particularly since they are a bit down from having to put our dog down to sleep a week and a half ago. Putting a pet down is always hard but I think the whole ordeal makes my parents think about getting older and what the end of their lives might be like.

Boo age. Yay mole.

Since moving to Seattle, I'm definitely more active than I've typically been, given that I walk a total of about 50 minutes a day to and from work. Yet I've gained about 10 pounds since moving here! I blame that whole slow down of the metabolism thing that comes with age. Apparently this damned age thing means that to simply maintain my weight I have to work out more and eat better? Damn you age, damn you! So in January I started trying to work on this in terms of working out beyond my walk to work and trying to watch what I eat a little bit more.

Now I'm not someone who could ever cut out carbs completely (um, hello Asian?), but I'm just trying to have them for lunch instead of dinner. I probably still have some carbs for dinner a night or two a week, but I'm focusing on a dinner of proteins and veggies the other 5 nights. I've also significantly cut down on dairy intake, though yes I still have cheese now and then. But gone is my habit of 3 or 4 greek yogurts a week.

So these slight eating changes plus working out just 2-3 more times a week means I lost five pounds last month. I need to lose 5 more, would like to lose 10 more, and would love to lose 15 more... though 15 is a stretch. I should probably try to find another yoga and/or pilates studio in order to keep this going. And in the same spirit, I guess I should pass on this new product I saw on the shelves the other day:

It's a little portable compartment with Nutella and bread-sticks. Honestly how could you say no to something so delicious and small and cute?!?! Though I laugh at the name... not the words so much, but the punctuation. Nutella and Go! Though ok, I guess I could get excited enough about Nutella to warrant the exclamation point. Because my love for Nutella is such that this is another viable option:

However given that I passed on the cute Nutella, I did treat myself to a pretty awesome dinner last night. I went to a chef's table tasting with 24 other people in the back room of what many call the best Mexican restaurant in Seattle, La Carta de Oaxaca. It's the type of place where you have abuelas making fresh tortillas in the back. One of their most famous dishes is their mole, a dish many consider to have originated in the Oaxaca region of Mexico. There were about 5 dishes during this chef's table dinner, but my goodness their mole...

I've never really been a mole fan, as most of the mole I've had has been too sweet. However, I discovered last night that I've just never had really good mole. Their mole was amazing... just such a complex, rich, smoky blend of flavors. When I came home I was intrigued and looked up a recipe online. Check out Rick Bayless's recipe. Twenty seven ingredients! Holy moly! Or is that Holy mole? (Har, Har, I crack myself up.)

I started this post talking about my weight loss and ended it talking about a dinner where I ended up so full that this asian had to pass on tasty rice that was still left on the table (sacriledge!!!).

Sigh.

Passion and Intuition

The above is a song called Weightless by Marconi Union. This eight minute track was created in collaboration with the British Academy of Sound Therapy and is regarded as the most relaxing song ever. According to scientists, it induced a 65% reduction in overall anxiety and brought test subjects' resting pulse rates to 35% of their usual resting rates.

Hmmm. So are you relaxed yet? Anyways so this is perhaps related to this "touchy feely... finding yourself bit" I've been contemplating lately. The first centers around a bit of what I addressed last week, trying to find or understand what my true passion is. The second I'm calling a need to strengthen my intuition. I think in the craziness of life we often forget how to hear ourselves. I think I've forgotten what its like to tune into that gut feeling... and even harder, forgotten how to have the guts to act on those gut feelings. I find these two related because I wonder whether I have to relearn how to really hear myself before trying to find what my true passion is.

For a while now I've honestly toyed with the idea of just quitting my job and traveling the world for a while. I would love to get away from my day to day routine and truly be able to quiet myself, so that I can really hear what it is I need or want.

Where would I go? Well I'd start here in Seattle and travel west, probably starting in Japan then Korea. Besides those two countries I'm a bit more open. Perhaps Nepal, Mongolia, and Turkey in Asia/Eurasia, then Croatia, Spain, Ireland, and Scotland in Europe. Considering my personality and that I was on the road most of last year, traveling the world for 2 or 3 months isn't as crazy a possibility for me.

The harder part is going to be whether I have the guts to take off, not knowing what would be here when I came back. It'd be different from traveling the world knowing you had a job or an offer to come back to. This is where the practical asian side of me goes "Are you freakin' nuts?!?!" Luckily I can more than afford to do this, heck I could afford to be without a job for over a year. But I've always been a pretty strict rule follower. I've always done what was expected. Can I take this big of a leap?

This has been on my mind for a bit, but I know I have to think about it more. Perhaps the rumblings will get so loud to where I can't ignore them. Or perhaps I don't need to do something so drastic. In pondering what my true passion might be, I've been asking myself a number of questions. These questions in a way seem so simple and innocuous, but I find that they are deceptively difficult to answer.

What do I love to do?
What comes naturally to me?
What do I feel passionate about?
What have been the happiest times in my life?
What have people always told me that I'm good at?
What did I always want to do when I was a child?

I'm working on my answers, though I find it difficult to just answer them and without automatically trying to tie them to some career choice.

To be a shokunin

It's been a while since I've posted on this blog, but I'm hoping to be a bit more regular with it (I'm sure much to the delight of a certain someone in New Mexico...) Anyways, I want to talk about a documentary I saw about a week ago that has made a huge impression on me.

It's called Jiro Dreams of Sushi and chronicles Jiro Ono, who must now be an 87 year old sushi master. He is the owner of Sukiyabashi Jiro and he was the first sushi chef to receive three Michelin stars. Jiro has been making sushi for over 75 years.

Yes, the movie is about incredible sushi... probably the best in the world. It also includes incredible detail about how much attention is given to every single aspect of the meal. This includes things like the order in which he presents his 18 or so pieces of sushi, the roasting of the seaweed, and the rice.

Oh the rice... which honestly is my personal kryptonite and why I could never completely cut out carbs (come on, I'm asian). The rice used here is bought from a vendor who notes that he will only sell to Jiro because only he knows how to properly cook it. I've long known that the best sushi restaurants often spend just as much attention, if not more, on the rice than the fish. But the expertise, mastery, and dedication to only the best quality rice that this rice vendor exhibits is inspiring.

Likewise the documentary will introduce you to a shrimp vendor and a tuna buyer, men who have also devoted their entire lives to mastering their craft. The tuna buyer's expertise is to an extent where he can take a small sliver of tuna, mash it between his thumb and index finger, and then use the look and feel on his fingers to determine the quality and taste of the tuna. Honestly it's mind boggling.

 They use a term in the documentary called shokunin. The best translation of shokunin would be:

"The Japanese word shokunin is defined by both Japanese and Japanese-English dictionaries as ‘craftsman’ or ‘artisan,’ but such a literal description does not fully express the deeper meaning. The Japanese apprentice is taught that shokunin means not only having technical skills, but also implies an attitude and social consciousness. The shokunin has a social obligation to work his/her best for the general welfare of the people. This obligation is both spiritual and material, in that no matter what it is, the shokunin’s responsibility is to fulfill the requirement.”

Here's a clip where you may get a sense for Jiro's dedication to his craft:



This documentary made me think about a lot of things. It made me jealous that these people have found something that they are so incredibly passionate about, to the point where they strive every day to be better than the last.

In one sense it did make me wonder whether I should complain less about my current job and just decide to commit myself to it for a certain period of time, trying to be the best that I can be at it. Haven't we become a society where we think the grass is always greener on the other side? Perhaps if I commit to my job and not constantly wonder whether there is a better job out there, I would be happier?

Or perhaps I need to find my true passion... something that I would be willing to become a shokunin in. Ultimately I'd like to find something that I'm truly passionate about, something I'm excited about, and where I feel that what I do makes a meaningful difference in the world. I wonder if I'm asking too much?

Or perhaps everything is about perspective and how you look at something. Perhaps my current job could be my passion and could make a meaningful difference in the world, if only I make the choice to look at it that way.

Ok now my head hurts. And I'm hungry for sushi.